FIVE CONSPIRACY THEORIES ABOUT THE DISAPPEARANCE OF PROPHET T.B. JOSHUA IN JUBA


The two Johuas (Kiir and Timetope Balogun or T.B. in the prophet’s private jet in Juba.

By Jon Pen de Ngong

The following are conspiracy theories being peddled in the public arena on what transpired between Prophet T.B. Joshua and President S.K. ‘Joshua’ (Kiir Mayardit). Check which one is hot, and which one is not:

THE 1ST THEORY: NOT INSURABLE
T
he insurance company of T.B.’s private jet and his life withdrew the insurance policy because South Sudan is not insurable, that is, above all risks e.g. has no independent air space safe enough for world’s commercial insurers.

NB: Don’t ask Jon Pen why a full prophet, who has God’s powers to divert death away from hitting the head of a Head of State, needs an insurance for his life and aeroplane.
Please, don’t blaspheme. Don’t blast him, either. Just bless him!

THE 2ND THEORY: PROPERTY, NOT PROPHECY

This is about money. From the suspiciously runaway meeting between the two ‘Joshuas’ in the Prophet’s private jet on the runway of Juba International Airport, rumour mill has widely circulated it that they were discussing money, not prayers as Mr. T.B. on his T.V. reported. From the pictures from the plane’s interior, we can see two men clutching hands, making other gestures, and looking at each other deep in the eyes. Were they reading prophecies or properties (deals)?

Ask not me. Else, I run short of more words and knowledge thereof, here…!


THE 3RD THEORY: NON-PERSONA GRATA


The man of God, whom the Presidential Press Unit first referred to (in Radio Tamazuj’s terms) as ‘Self-proclaimed Prophet‘ but later deleted it upon our uproar, is rumoured to have actually not come to heal us (South Sudan nation). Some humour-rumour dealers intimidated that he was expelled by the Government as NPG (non-persona grata or no longer needed) because he disclosed in his close-door prophecy that President Kiir is not actually a ‘Joshua’, thus would not benefit from our Canaan’s peace dividends, but was a ‘Moses’, who would remain on the mountain like John Garang de Mabior of the first peace agreement (CPA) exodus.


Pap! Anybody who excludes (in SSBC terms) the democratically elected president is but a rebel, anti-peace, negative force, enemy of progress (EP), etc.
As quoted from Capt. Mabior Garang’s reaction against the T.B. Joshua’s peace-violating prophecy, this statement is deplorable, and therefore, outrightly ‘deportable’
…Your Agreement does not matter to what God is about to do,” T.B. said to South Sudanese.

I also gather that the highly spiritual transactional dealer gave some private conditions to the president, who had promised in his invitation letter to the prophet to go and worship in his SCOAN church if he (TB) manage to lift the burden of the prophecy of that much ‘tempted coup’ of December War off the president’s neck.
That this dear document of ours, the ‘Bible of Peace’ (RARCiSS or Revitalized Agreement for the Resolution of the Conflict in South Sudan) is not sanctioned by God? Over my dead buddy! Kiir is even right if the deportation story wins this rumour-milling competition later.

However, the aledged J1 script that was designed to be prophesied by T.B. Joshua was published in advance by Kiiristians like Garang John and Gordon Buay in the Social Media, or the so-called media.

“God has shown me in a vision that you are the anointed one. You will lead South Sudan into eternity. Almighty will guard you against haters and evildoers. He will fight your wars. No weapon fashioned against you shall prosper. You will live to testify the works of the Lord in the land of the living!” Prophet TB Joshua delivered new prophecies to President Kiir at JIA…” Garang John on Facebook.

Unforttunately, the reverse is said to be true: “I am here to deliver God’s message. Time has come to put our differences behind us. If I am a prophet, this will not go without fulfillment. The issue of this nation is spiritual and we need to tackle it spiritually. Next month we talk of December and a new year. This country is going to enter a new beginning, whether you like it or not. Whether he likes it or not. Your agreement doesn’t matter to what God is about to do” – Frm Manyang Dbid Mayar’s Facebook Ttimeline.

NB: Hardly had the 6 hours after the Prophet’s ‘deportation passed than the the US Government made a damning decision to exclude President Salva Kiir and Dr. Riek Machar from the RTGoNU (Revitalized Government of National Unity)! Why again? Because they have annoyed the Super Power by allowing themselves to be beaten by deadline after deadline, deadline after deadline, in the peace implementation process. Me too, I am annoyed if you are not.

No political wills — only political ills!
NB: Please, don’t you ever ask this writer why the alleged Prophecy of exclusion rhymes or coincides with the Secretary of State, Mike Pompeo’s policy of exclusion or sanctions on the ‘Kiirriek Duo’ (Kiir + Riek). Because I don’t believe in that man off God, though he first prophesied the ‘Attempted Coup’ in 2013.
Of course, like a student who first meets the examiner and takes notes before sitting for the exam paper itself, the ‘Senior Prophet’ (the title later adopted by ‘OOPS’ or Office of President Salva after dropping ‘Self-Proclaimed’) launched that prophecy against our president just days after the First Lady, Gen. Mama Mary Ayen Mayardit, visited Nigeria and came back with a ‘Peace and Security Award’, which was in form of a sword! Sssshhh…! Don’t be suspicious, I mean superstitious, yet. Story is linked here:

http://www.sudantribune.com/spip.php?article49060

In the same vein, the ‘Prophet’ foresaw Hillary Clinton as president of USA just days after the incessantly opinionated polls in partnership with the liberal media ran headlines like that. Trump-dit did eventually debunk the prophecy, so the prophet deleted his — in Trump’s words — ‘fake news’!


THE 4TH THEORY: DEPORTED BY GOD
This is from the horse’s mouth. From the words of T.B. Joshua, himself. According to the public statement now doing the round on Social Media, the Man of God clears the air, “I was deported by God!” He debunked the Government’s deportation theory. Then he did a great disservice to his readers, especially we, Junubeen, victims of his seemingly procured oracles. How this consumer of his new news wished he just insinuated why the Almighty Father, who loves South Sudanese like the rest, would order him out of Juba at night, through the only world’s international airport that closes just as the day’s dust settles, at dusk. Why? Dear Prophet T.B., why…?


THE 5TH THEORY: NOTHING AT ALL
This theory (if any) is assigned to an absentee in this drama. However, in the first place, there could be nothing, zatu. I mean just add what you have heard, which is not captured in this blog. And thank you.
In conclusion, which has another inclusion, Pope Francis has reacted. He is coming to Juba, so soon, and so on! Maybe Prophet Bushiri is coming back after sorting out his jail sentence for faking money and death on a man recently in South Africa. Watch this space, as usual our VP, Dr. Gen. James Wani Igga (Wa’nigga) would run and open the door of the ‘spiritual investor’s car. And our local prophets are furious. And they are serious about that, including the Opposition’s one –James Dak Kueth, to be exact! Why now? Because there seems to be such a ‘dark quest’ in our rude search for peace, if not for crude power. But who gives a damn about a hometown prophet, as Jesus once put it?

As if this is not enough, who knows our spiritual brokers might be already busy now contracting Prophet David Owuor, our neighbourly one, whose ancestor left Bahr-al-Ghazal about a millennium ago. Prophecy is booming!
Oops, sorry! I nearly left without answering your question. By whom were we, South Sudanese, cursed? And if it were not any curse, then why would a fully literate leader, or leaders for that matter, deliberately fail to read and lead from the document laid out in chapters and simple language and instead opt for a spiritual reader to perform extra miracles on it (RARCiSS).
Yes, we are cursed in that prophecy! Not by the ‘Nigerites’ Prophet Joshua but by the Israelites’ Prophet Isaiah, on us, the prophetless Cushites. Ati, “God will punish South/Sudan (Cush).” With what? Methinks, with idiotic lunacy and confusion, as such, the mother of all wars. Really, if not idiots, do we need spiritual spectacles to interpret and implement the very document that we all designed and signed in Addis Ababa last year?