Col. Dr. Kizza Besigye has ‘won’ the Ugandan elections and ‘sworn’ himself in at the eve of his rival, Incumbent Forever, Yoweri Kaguta Museveni. Gen. Museveni is being sworn in today. So Uganda, like South Sudan, will be run by two co-presidents, with similar characters of two infertile co-wives of Mzee Afria.

The most populous and most popular opposition party, Forum for Democratic Change (FDC), believes they are going to run a parallel Uganda, alongside Museveni’s. Yes, a one-in-two country(ies)! Never ask about the whereabouts of the ‘Go Forward’ party of ‘Mama Baba Zee’ (Amama Mbabazi) and others. A-mama has not only gone mum but has gone forward…more or less like Arnold Schwarzennegger, who concludes his movies, ‘I am coming back’. He could be wise given what awaits his friend in prison: treason!?

Unfortunately, Museveni would not share that chair with a ‘loser’ (loser in the sense of M7’s). Immediately after the besieged Besigye’s swearing in, he was sworn out right away, i.e. taken to ‘state lodge’ at Luzira, the ‘University of Humility and Humiliation’. So he did not see the State House that M7 occupied for the last three decades (30 years)…since 1986 AD. Heh, if this were South Sudan, the whole opposition  would be behind bars for an ‘attempted coup’.

Good enough, my president, Gen. Salva Kiir Mayardit, a potential ICC (HCSS) candidate, is in attendance alongside Omar al Bashir, the ICC invitee (indictee for Darfur abductees), Uhuru Kenyatta, the ICC escapee, Tanzania’s Pombe Magufuli, Paul Kagame–wait a minute — I check the list of presidential attendants. Oh, he is not there.

Interestingly, as Paul Kagame chose to busy himself with his home affairs, including the World Economic Forum, which was also attended by Uhuru Kenyatta and others, before they came down to Kampala, our Salva Kiir avoided that Kigali forum as well as the World Ant-Corruption Summit and instead spent the eve of the power ritual ceremony in Kampala. Of course, his interest is in how to swear his counterpart into power, not how to swirl his country out of the economic quaqmire.

Besigye is besieged! But his message, his  fights, flights and plights have gone across Africa, ‘The Duck Continent’, a self-dirtying continent with too many leaders but too little leadership.

Hey, I smell the rat here!  With the type of leadership rendered by Museveni, Mugabe, Mayardit, Al Bashir, Zuma, and to some extent, Kenyatta; name them, how many ‘Kizzas’ (like pizzas) will mushroom with parallel or unity governments in Africa soon? With Dr. Riek Machar now with a big share of the Big Chair with Gen. Kiir, and Besigye declaring himself ‘Alternate President’, I have a list of more…!

My ‘Besigyed List’ (‘besieged list’) kicks off with Riek Machar, Raila Odinga, Morgan Tshangirai, Julius Malema, minus Uncle al Tourabi (Dr. All-Trouble), who just passed on a few weeks ago. Do you believe Africa is going to rest?

Well, I have summarized this article in a poem that I composed for my Literature class in Makerere University in October last year (revised and revived today) upon Besigye’s Grand Return to Uganda politics. Unfortunately, the poem could not reach the courseworks’ table since my course mates pre-warned me the lecturer was an FDC supporter. Though I have tried to balance it, it is heavily on ‘Kizza The Pizza (or) Besigye The Protege’. Enjoy it below:




Kizza the Pizza, Besigye the Protégé

If I weren’t this politically distinct, distant deejay,

Definitely, I was going so biased

On a trailblazer climbing highest

By just christening the man ‘The Political Protégé’!


A stunning Ugandan, Kizza Besigye:

A kisser foursome of heat politics,

Though won to his favor all critics,

Else, Besigye is a stunting protégé!


In every African territory reigns an All-mighty Tzar,

Against whom fight: Raila Odinga,

Morgan Tshangirai, Julius Malema

And the bloodstained South Sudanese Riek Machar!


Some of our African democracy rabbles,

Ridiculed with nicknames extravaganza:

RIP: Hassan Al Tourabi, Dr. All-Troubles.

The late Levy Mwanawasa, The Cabbage,


Then add: Raila Odinga, The Calabash?

Julius Malema, The Dilemma?

Kalonzo Musyoka, The Watermelon.

And Besieged Kizza, The Pizza!


With all his fights and flights, how come Kizza is pizza?

Oh, munched four times by Museveni?

Vainly, he punched against Museveni!

To fellow runners, the spoiler protégé is Besigye Kizza!


Are all the four Uganda’s bungled polls Kizza’s own fault?

Ballot or bullet, it’s the incumbents’ victory.

Very sadly, we do live in a colony of felony!

Like millet down the gullet, Africans are traded by default.