To Ocampo: I and Shari’a want Bashir’s hands off before he goes to ICC or commits Suicide!

I hate political weaklings. That is why I wrote on the intro of my blog above: “Really, I rarely enjoy politics; but when some wannabes play poly-tricks, I would rather I were their hangman.” This statement also echoes what this weblog is about (from the Aboutleaks page): “In South/Sudan today, our readers, our leaders and other senior citizens in the aftermath of the conflict seem to be oscillating between words of war and war of words. Such leaders who lose their hearts in loose utternaces are to be crucified ’weakleakly‘ (like USA  on the in/famous on the altar of their tongues.” This theme is justified by the following loose utterances by President Bashir, himself, quoting Islamic law (Shari’a) on the crime of stealing or the likes, in an incidence that happened around October 10, 2010.

THE FATE OF PICKPOCKETS IN SUDAN: South Sudanese in Khartoum, if you are still waiting for the donkey salaries from the National Islamic Front (NIF/NCP) masters, you will either come home with a gun to shoot your brothers. Failure to do that, you will return to us useless i.e. minus your hands!

“…those in disagreement should review their understanding of religion because Islamic Shari’a law “has always stipulated that one must whip, cut, or kill”.

Hm, this is — allow me to call it — ‘oral farting’. To be more obscene, or even off scene, those who fart through their anal doors should be naturally forgiven for carelessly releasing foul gas, but those who fart orally should be nationally crucified on the calvary of their mouths. I remember one of the Jongleyans (from Duk County of South Sudan) sang: “…kɔc wäl köth ë yom de kölöŋ, arac, arac, lɔ kɔc wɔɔk Jölöŋ!” (meaning: He poured the folks his Monsoon (hot winter) wind that smells terribly untill it went and poisoned at Jollong…!” (Imagine the distance between his village and Jollong village!). Apologies requested from those touched by this piece of Dinka literature, quoted for the purpose of warning our Jongleyans in most particular, Southanese in particular and Sudanese in general terms that this is the winter, and whatever foul air the hot winter wind is blowing in from the northerly direction must not be allowed to poison our people at Jollong (the meeting point at AkoBor and PiBor counties of the tribal triangle of tribulations in Jonglei State). The same warning must apply to South/Sudanese on both sides of the border, yes, those imaginary lines.

Bashir and Bashar are in trouble this year (say these years). Bashar al Assad (Syria) survived UN’s noose by a whisker of Russia’s double standards, or by a whisky of the In/security Council’s drunken democrazy. Russia wants Bashir (al Hassan) who is votted for ICC to be vetoed like Bashar al Assad so that they settle their cases at Moscow instead of at the Hague, but that is very vague, very opague and very fake indeed.

However, my request to Mr. Moreno Ocampo and the Hague’s guys to allow us handle Omar al Bashir domestically is different from that of the AU (I hear African UNION!). My name is Jean Penn, the South Sudanese, not Jean Ping, the Gabonese. The difference is that Jean (pronounced like John not like Jeans) Ping is the AU’s Chairman and I, Jean (a French for John) Penn, am the AU’s cheer man. I just do the cheering up, but this time, his (AU’s) decision has left me just jeering as he takes over the role of a cheerman, a tyrants’ sycophant. As for me and my fellow bystanders, we shall play a psycho-fans’ role to the international political tournament (reads torn-up men) between the Man-chaser United and the Liver-fool foodbowl championship. 

The bunch of dictators in the AU, who are just watched by the bunch of spectators in the UN, have launched yet another lobby to have Bashir’s arrest warrants on 11 Big Crimes cancelled so that he goes on doing his thing. Ocampo, are you there?  Take note, your substitute that is taking over this June is not only an African but also a woman! No offence intended, women please. I mean, my lord, Fatou Bensouda, who is to carry on with the criminals’ files from Moreno as ICC Prosecutor may develop the ladies’ syndrome  (motherly mercy), the brand of forgiveness backed up by her fellow African dictators who do not wish to see themselves tricked into trickling in one by one, beginning with Bashir, I mean with Gba-Gbo!

What the Shari’a Dictates

Since President El Bashir has pre-condemned himself using the Shari'a law, which he violated by stealing money from the oil of the Republic of South Sudan, he must go to The Haque minus his hands, since he is the first advocate of the domestic court and the same time the same thief caught 'red-handed'.

I hear the political weaklings in Khartoum are calling for full inclusion and strict execution of Shari’a laws in Sudan. If you think the term ‘weakling’ is undiplomatic language against that in/dependent nation, then why for Allah’s sake did the Shura (Juba Arabic: Sura i.e. picture), the Islamic Shari’a Ulumah, a vigilante council that assumes supremacy above the legislative body in Khartoum, want to impose Shari’a at a season when they themselves are pickpocketing their neighbour’s oil money?

In November 2011, Bashir ordered his parliament to rubber-stamp a bill to steal (‘confiscate’ they say) the South Sudanese (Southanese) oil to top up their deficit budget. A legislated theft! That has regretably boomeranged on Khartoum. What does Sharia dictate about stealing a neighbour’s property? Without much ado, this is it, from the Gospel according to Al Bashir:

” Islamic Shari’a law “has always stipulated that one must whip, cut, or kill”, said Bashir.

As if that is not enough, he went on lecturing to justify why his law yes-sayers should stone or flog women in an improptu open court presided over by none other than ‘His Lordship, Justice Bolice’ (any police constable) at the city centre.

These days some people are talking about the girl that was lashed in accordance with a penalty of Allah’s penalties…..for those who say they are ashamed of this [punishment] they should wash up, pray twice and revert back to Islam. If the girl was sentenced to flogging and the police carried out the verdict, what is the probe for then?” Bashir told the harvest celebrations at Al-Gadarif state in East Sudan, as he was launching his unmanned surveillance plane (drone) made in Sudan (an euphemism for Iran?). He said this in December, days before the referendum polls.

Why was the girl in question lashed in public? They say she was not dressed up the way their women do. How do they do? They roll ( or are rolled) up in coloured or black cloth so that they look like bodies ready for burial. So if a wayward girl is not clothed and/or closed up likewise, she is beaten up by the law enforcers. As if that is not enough, if a girl is seen dashing somewhere into the dark angle with a lover or a lookalike sort of…, she is declared a dark angel, hence pre-sentenced to death penalty by stoning in a city square by all the passersby. Juba girls still malingering in Khartoum, do not say later that I did not tell you, o…!

Bashir is not guilty of that. He is guilty of stealing, stealing Southanese oil, stealing Southanese soil, and stealing his Northanese money, the rests on the litany of crimes up to Ocampo. By this accusation, I am not politicking. I have evidences, including this complaint from one Namaa Faisal al Mahdi, a Northanese female activist. Need also I quote H.E. Salva Kiir on the Southern financial figures stolen by the Northern political figures? No, except to draw His Excellency’s attention on the percentages allocated to the presidential spending thus: 

“Sudan is currently undergoing a deep economic crisis caused by the loss of over 75% of its oil revenue after the south became an independent country as well as poor management of governmental finances, a civil war in Darfur, South Kordofan and Blue Nile State as well as excessive governmental spending on the army police and national security services, estimated at nearly 30% of the forecasted 2012 annual budget , spending in presidential affairs estimated at nearly 5% , whilst spending in all basic necessary services such as education, health and support for business and agriculture estimated was forecasted at less than 1.2 %.” .

Away from the president’s corruption of having 5% shares of the 40 million minions’ income, come back the crime according to Shari’a. Shari’a law in principle is supposed to be applied on any citizen of that Islamic country. This is not so in Khartoum. Shari’a is implemented squarely on the third class citizens in that country. That is why one Sarah Abuk Lual (they called her Abuk Luwal), a Dinka girl, was sentenced to stoning in Khartoum when she was suspected to have been mysteriously impregnated about 10 years ago, by the time one Amina Lawal was facing the same Sharia stones in Northern Nigeria. Can anyone remember if the Christian NGOs and rights groups succeeded in serving the lives of those women and their unborn babies?

Why is it that when an emaciated street kid picks the the pregnant pocket of a rich man in town, his hand is cut off? No vice versa! I have ever sighted on TV the daughter of Dr. Trouble (Dr. Al Tourabi) dressed in a funny pair of trousers. I waited eagerly to hear news about her being caned in public the following morning. Nothing! Can”t you also believe Al Mahdi’s daughter has some queer leggings and tight jeans in her wardrobe now? I hear from my lawyer cousin that this thing called law is so stupid that if you narrowly killed your neighbour with a bullet from your tongue (e.g. the I-am-going-to-kill-you warning) or with a bullet from the tongue of your gun, you are equally taken in for one class of crimes called ‘Attempted Murder’. Similarly, if a Shamasha in Khartoum or a street boy in Juba or a Shokoro in Nairobi saves his dying life from the pang of hunger, he is not saved from the panga of anger according to Sharia. But when Bashir saves his hungry economy (government) by picking from the oil money of his neighbour, he is saved from the angry autonomy of the Sharia law. You see?

Declaring Fatwa Against Bashir

I hear a ‘Fatwa’ is an Islamic order pronounced against an infidel or a criminal, and is executed by any member of Islam. If this is true, then I, regardless of being a non-Muslim, hereby, in the name of the law, declare that Omar Hassan Ahmed al Bashir be tried by the Sudanese laws for stealing the Southanese money. Any practising Islamic member nation is hereby requested to arrest the suspect (Al Bashir) once he sets his foot on their soil, including South/Sudan whose oil his hand is caught red-handed in. Mr. Ocampo, at least this looks like the Rome Statue (rather ‘statute’), which is being violated by many countries, such as Kenya, which has been struggling to host Prof. Bashir to lecture them how to dodge The Hague. Alas, too late for them!

Beware of SUICIDE!

I gather that Bashir is contemplating suicide. Yes, like Col. Muamar Gaddafi, a man from Gaddatfi tribe in Libya, Bashir from Shendi tribe (Arabic students, am I right?) from northern Sudan is swearing not to surrender to the rats and cockroaches but rather to dye fighting. Fighting who? Fighting the rats and cockroaches from Darfour, Darfive, Darsix, Darseven, and upto Dar-eleven. If he could declare war on Darfur, Nuba, Blue Nile, Eastern Sudan, Opposition parties, South Sudan, Israel, America, and those who may temper to catch him for ICC, including the coward Kenya who is now kneeling down before him to forgive her, then is it not suicide? How strong is this man to fight the whole world, including its leading Super Powers?

I was choked by a coke when I read that the same Shura (Islamic paradisaical fanatics) who steer and stir the laws in Sudan had designed their passport with that in/famous page stamped: TO ALL THE COUNTRIES EXCEPT ISRAEL AND SOUTH SUDAN! I was so excited to the extent that I informed Jesus in my night prayer that He convince His Counterpart, Prophet Mohammed (PBUH), not to inject his wisdom to make Bashir change his heart and withdraw the rubber stamp. Benefits? I would be the first Juban to book a shop from the thousands of the Arabs in town. Of course, they were going to be manhandled, bundled and packed wholesale like Iddi Amin’s Indians deported from Uganda back to their country in 1972. Who would dare move with the whole shop to Juba Airport if given 24 hours to pack their airload baggage?

Un/fortunately, our soft-hearted Government of South Sudan had already intimated that those Northanese residing in clusters of threes and fours in in the management of one single stall in the name of Darfuris, the species whose skin is akin to that of the kin and kith of the Dongolawis or Bashir’s himself from the far north, be given freedom to choose citizenship as Southanese. That means they could apply to become citizens in South Sudan! That is why I even made a joke one day that our passport page, the one that corresponds with the Khartoum’s should read that one should travel without trouble: TO ALL THE COUNTRIES EXCEPT HELL!

As Bashir is implementing his law that stipulates 'to whip, cut or kill', he ordered his army to bomb Nuba Mountains village of Kurchi on June 27, 2011, an air raid that cut many Nuba children into pieces as seen with two girls mercilessly dismembered. This is what he proudly said, "“We order the armed forces to carry on its operations and not to stop until South Kordofan is purged as Abyei was purged before, and Abdel Azizi is arrested and brought to trial.”

Un/fortunately, Bashir’s errand boy, Ali Karti, a Khartoum’s foreign affairs minister, is quoted as saying they would use the 700,000 Southanese citizens in Khartoum to fight their war. Junubiin, are we there, yet? That, again, is why the Weakleaker loathes political weaklings such as the Kartis of Khartoum’s, and their boss, who is diagnosed and proven by Weakleaks to be suffering from oral diarrhea nowadays.

Yeah, Your Ex-cellency, go ahead. Recruit them. Arm them. Harm them. Send them to shoot us. And you will feel the original taste of the suicide you are naively committing to yourselves. Of course, if not a ‘foolitician’, then which political animals would allow a deportee to come along with guns in order to shoot his relatives back home?

Uncle Mayardit, bravo! Keep those taps dry untill their ass dry up (sorry for the typo error of ‘earth’). No worry, you know how we survived for over two decades of decadence in the bush while they were siphoning our oil and occupying our soil against us. For those who have just joined us from them, shut up! You do not know how to do it. Mr. Pagan is a real pagan (infidel) according to the Northanese who have already condemned and sentenced him to death penalty (fatwa) in Khartoum for his patriotic stubbornness.That is a true Southanese! Go man, go. Sing them the in/famous song I like, from Bor North (Twic) literature again:

“…abï jur ë tiɛɛl lɔ kuik ë thoŋ tök, kɔc kaa jo kuik, paantueeŋ ayan bɛ̈ny thïn! (meaning … until the bastards of jealousy had to squeeze through a single channel. Let them squeal, I am also the boss in the western wing!). Please again, no one should domesticate this quote. I just like our local literature and am using it for that logical action by our leaders. Bashir, take note!

HYPOCRISY: Beware of African dictators who deceive their people, "I will die for my country", when they actually mean "I will die WITH my country". They are politically, economically and militarily at large, in fact larger than their whole nations.

 To conclude, politically, I have presented what Presidents Bashir and Bashar mean by imposing their own laws (read wills) upon their vulnerable people, poetically, I had reported to Allah this terror caused in the name of this Shari’a law in the following way in my book, ‘The Black Christs of Africa’, Chapter Two: Letters of Reconciliation and Fetters of Conciliation.


Poem 25


In court with God’s lawyer


Dear Heavenly Father,

Are You aware of deals going farther;

That a man claiming to be your lawyer,

A man famous as an acclaimed liar,

Is condemning me to hell on earth,

That I brought life out of wrong birth?

Are You aware of the Final Judgment going on here?


Dear Almighty father,

Are you aware of his all mighty feather,

A crown with which he coerces the crowd,

In the name of Your Law into a fire cloud,

Of the early judgment into earthly hell,

May you please check the powers of his spell?

Are You aware of the Final Judgment going on here?


Dear Holy Father,

Are you aware that he has gone further

To bring all but me to book,

While it’s clear from my book and his look,

That I blasphemed not against my God’s,

That I committed this sacrilege against his Guts,

Are You aware of the Final Judgment going on here?


Contextual Quote

In any country there must be people who have to die. They are the sacrifices any nation has to make to achieve law and order.

Field Marshal Idi Amin Dada (1925? – 2003)

Uganda soldier and politician (Dictator: 1971 – 1979).


 The following is another letter from the same chapter urging and warning the South Sudanese who are still lingering behind in North Sudan. I composed this poem in reaction to the former Sudan Minister of Information’s warning, “They will not enjoy citizenship rights, jobs or benefits, they will not be allowed to buy or sell in Khartoum market and they will not be treated in hospitals,” Obeid further said in statements carried by public radio. “If the result of the referendum was separation, then the southerners will not enjoy citizenship rights in the north as they would be considered citizens of another state”,

These was announced in October 2011, and our deadhead people are still chewing Arabs’ things like gazelles chewing their curds inside a hunter’s trap. Come on folks! If you have a relative in Khartoum, copy and send this poem to them.


Poem 24


Dear Cartoons in Cart-tombs


I know you do not know

That you are still in Egypt.

That’s why I invite you now

For an exodus to in masses exit.


I know you do not know

That you are the wall of the great Jericho,

The human shield around that blazing snow,

In which you do not hear any external echo.


I know you do not know

That the political geckos cram you into social ghettos,

In tomb-shaped structures like terraces of potatoes,

Easier for indoctrination with their Shari’a law.


I know you do not know

That we have already resolved in the South,

To part way with those turbaned cartoons of the North,

Who force your women to dress like our war widow.


I know you do not know

That in their class lists you fall third row,

That they make you in your homed cartons

Live like animated Cart-tomb’s cartoons.


 Contextual Quote

How about those people? How about those guys? How about those ones? How about those other guys I see with their heads wedged among aliens?  How will they be? Will they not have their testicles sliced off like the proverbial man who had wedged his head into the elephant’s (carcass) stomach? Better, better the elephant hunter, for he avenged himself with his sharp spear? How about you, what will you avenge yourselves with? Eh, count me out if…!           

Akutkuei Music Group. “How About Those Ones…?” (Translated from Dinka by the author).


Is it possible that my people live in such awful conditions?…I tell you, Mr Wheatley, that if I had to live in conditions like that I would be a revolutionary myself.

George V (1865 – 1936)

British monarch.

On being told Mr. Wheatley’s life story.